LYDIA: Whats wrong sugarlumps? ADAM: Oh! Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. CHARLES: About that I thought that after everything weve been through Well, I just thought that both of us could use a fresh start. DELIA: About that. Were still together. DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. BEETLEJUICE: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE 'EM GO CRAZY, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT SOME EVIL DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU, YOU'VE GOTTA WORK GOTTA HAUNT TILL IT HURTS THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND GIVE THOSE GUYS THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. Well its a lot bigger on the inside! LYDIA: I dont want your help. Rule number 1: Dont leave the house. LYDIA: Well, Im not going with them! Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! New meat! close. 5. It CLICKS OFF. Delia, that was just the wind. He was already dead. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." The man next to me LYDIA: Im gonna use it to bring my mom back from the Netherworld. Lydia, this is a dangerously unstable individual. Cmon! Well that wouldve been good to know. ADAM: So, Lydia since you can see us, let me get right to the point. I'm on the bench, but coach. THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD! BARBARA: And Lydia, she cant live like this! LYDIA: What? BEETLEJUICE Oh, theyre both gonna get it. I can bring your daddy so much pain. AGHHHH! BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! Thats what I want too. (DELIA screams.) For we do not walk alone., GROWN UPS WANT TO FIX THINGS, WHEN THEY CANT, IT ONLY FILLS THEM WITH SHAME, IS IT BEING GREEDY TO NEED SOMEBODY TO SEE ME AND SAY MY NAME. I want you, Beetlejuice. BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. Maxie Dean loves shrimp! CHARLES: -Not good for Lydia. And their eyes! DELIA: I dont see race. Oh father dear! Wait come back! And so do I! LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! ITS ALMOST A GIVEN THAT I WILL ALL SOON BE ALIVE. And Im still here! I orbit. Smash. MAITLANDS: BJ IS A GRADUATE OF JUILLIARD! Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. Im not sure youre equipped. /Say my name/. OTHO: Then lets get to it! From A Chorus Line to You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, we've got plenty of monologues from musicals to choose from! LYDIA: Yeah, you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and then didnt eat because there was obviously something wrong with it, so it just rotted in the hot African sun. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. Not gonna do that. BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? Did I mention that my moms a demon? I died with this sash. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. BEETLEJUICE: So then, I was like Lets do this! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. THE MAITLANDS: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE? BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. In a haunted house, all alone! BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! (draws door.) They become caught up in the supernatural elements and try to get Lydia to realize what she really needs the most. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. OKAY! I mean, no I have an idea, how about instead of impaling yourself on that birdbath, you uh, I dont know, say my name three times. (a beat.) (exits), BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE ME, I VANISHED LIKE A CLOUD OF DIRTY HIPSTER VAPE, LYDIA: By the time you read this I, Lydia Deetz, will be gone there's nothing for me here I'm alone, forsaken, invisible. I dont know what I did. BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. And now, finally theyre about to die! It's a gold mine! It bridged the cultural gap between the cult movie and the studio movie, making a genre-movie quirkiness acceptable to the mainstream." New York Times film critic Glenn Kenny 3 WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! Maybe I should answer for her. Are you all right? Lets get that book open. ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! . FROM TETRALOGY OF FALLOT IN MY PULMONARY ARTERY! JUNO: Oh, Lawrence, that was beautiful. DELIA: Nope! BEETLEJUICE: Okay, plan B! 2."Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. The sound of the music is evidence of the fact that the Maitlands have allowed Lydia to dance to the music and levitate in the living room as a . CHARLES: Except brains. But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. LYDIA: I can't keep living like this! Proceed directly to the Netherworld! I can bring your daddy so much pain. BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill those people downstairs. BEETLEJUICE: THAT IS THE SOUND, OF CLEAN, WHITE, SHORTS TURNING BROWN, LYDIA: THE SOUND OF A SCREAM, IS MUSIC TO ME, A SOUND THAT SAYS FIFTEEN YEARS FULL-TIME THERAPY, BEETLEJUICE: TRAUMA AND FEAR, IT SINGS IN MY EAR, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE AROUND, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. Having lost her. Ive already been to hell and back. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! IM TIRED OF TRYIN TO IRON OUT MY CREASES, HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEAL, YOU WONT BELIEVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME, ARE YOU RECEIVING? I changed a lot. Then I guess theres no rush! You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! And they eat ghosts. BEETLEJUICE: Im tired of being alone! I need a wife. MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. And then she was like But I dont have any baby oil! and then I was like Well, Ive got some guacamole. And that is how I made nachos with Catherine Hepburn. LYDIA: Dad came back for me? ADAM Hey old girl! Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? DELIA: (Ringing Triangle.) Im Barbara, this is Adam. BARBARA Oh, honey. New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. What an effervescent young lady you are. It has u but doesnt have a me. The man next to me is the one I want. Because of her, I got to live, briefly, very briefly, and can I just say something? You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! Ready, Set, Not Yet - Adam . CHARLES: LOOK AT ME! In the world of the dead? (more chase.) [speaks in Lydia's voice] Beetlejuice: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! BEETLEJUICE: Okay! See? A fall from that height? ADAM: Oh! Dad theres ghosts! Dad, n-no you cant do that. BARBARA: Im sorry, why are we in the attic? ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! Dont, DONT text me in the middle of the night saying U up? because guess what? My names not Otho! Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! TELL MY STORYY! (a beat.) Who knows what hes done to Lydia! I thought she was terrifying, but nobody knew who she was. WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? Hope I didnt scare you (screams) ARITHMIA 1234. Here you got a solid plan B option. BEETLEJUICE: Holy crap! DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? BARBARA: Lydia, why did Beetlejuice give that to you? All you gotta do is say my name. Lets say we are dead thats bad, obviously, but hey, maybe! No! (a beat.) You give mea bonerhere, its a femur. BEETLEJUICE: NO, WHAT FILLS YOU WITH RAGE? . Mom! Wheres your handbook? Then you won't believe how far I'll go. ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY-O! Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife? That was a disaster. We don't currently have any monologues from Beetlejuice . DELIA: Life coaching! We are father, daughter, and Delia. LYDIA: Oh. Lets save Lydia and get the hell out of here. YES! BARBARA: Yeah! ADAM: (BARBARA screams.) And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. Very good energy. This iteration of Scott Brown and Anthony King's musical, with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect, is otherwise nearly identical and keeps all the musical's hit songs intact, including the viral hit "Say My Name" and the Harry Belafonte classic "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)." In the show, the titular Beetlejuice is a demon who's stuck haunting a . Again. ADAM: Wed love it! Buddy, thanks for coming, but we are dealing with a haunted house here. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. God, why cant he just leave me alone? When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. BEETLEJUICE: We are gonna make such a great team! These are the biggest changes that . Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. What are you talking about. LYDIA: Okay. NEIGHBOR: Hello?! And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. We will just have to do this without her. Alex Brightman and Sophia Anne Caruso in "Beetlejuice." Matthew Murphy. In the new Broadway adaptation of Tim Burton's 1988 cult classic film "Beetlejuice," teenager Lydia takes center stage alongside the . Welcome to our model home. Alright. Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. Now, heres the plan; I cant make the living say my name, but with a little help from me, those newlydeads can. Cmon. This is not working out. Home Monologues from Musicals. TELL MY STORYYYYYY! DELIA: Knock Knock! Beetlejuice: please don't make me beg *kneels* fine im begging okay i'm so sick and tired of being. BEETLEJUICE: NO! February 27, 2020 7:07pm. And such a bold departure from the original source material! Its time for Americas favorite game show! THIS CRIB IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR PLACING A BABY INSIDE IT, YOUR SENSE OF PERFECTION IS JUST A REFLECTION THAT, YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY PREPARED TO MAKE ROOM FOR A KID. And that is exactly how we can beat him. And the people who live there, Ive been watching them for a while. to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! Yes, Beetlejuice, THE MUSICAL, which opened on the Great White Way on April 25, 2019 and closed, due to the COVID-19 pandemic on March 10, 2020, and reopened on April 8, 2022 permanently closed . So, on the count of three just yell out the scariest thing you can think of! New York, NY, Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall Its a classic Victorian with the original crown molding. do not like him! I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! To the dead. Maybe nothing has to change. Beetlejuice - Musical. I had a vision once. Dont you remember when we moved in? All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. who adapted the movie into the musical's script, . AND THE UNIVERSE WILL BE LIKE "I KNOW! Beetlejuice the Musical Script by Jesse. ADAM: Barbara! About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . Strangers. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! It's like my dad's Ophelia. We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. Everyone here would go back if they could! Beetlejuice DC Script - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. OH! MAXIE DEAN: CHUCK!!! BEETLEJUICE: Hi there, ahahaha! Like a gay republican! BARBARA: WE'LL RATTLE CHAINS AND I DON'T KNOW! this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) AHAHAHAHA SHUT UP! IM ALIVE! Im not going anywhere! After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. LYDIA: I had a change of heart. Your father was trying to hide you from us. Ive got a way to make everyone see me. We invisibles have to stick together! She was my world, too Lydia. Puppet show!! We did find that out. Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. Ah! BEING YOUNG AND FEMALE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M AN EASY MARK, BEETLEJUICE: I'M OFFERING YOU A FULL-TIME SPECTER. Dad, no. Well, I should probably get going. ; Body Horror: Having his head cut off, then stretching his nose out while shoving his hand into the back of his head and growing eyes on his fingers. BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! She goes back into the room. (softly.) Don't apologize! This sappy subplot robs the musical of macabre and fits the story as well as O.J.'s glove. ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. Once he realizes this house is haunted, well have to leave! Im on your side, and I always will be. Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring I meant to say. Oh my god! DELIA: AHHH! AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS MY ANGER BECAUSE AS A SOCIETY WE DONT TEACH MEN HOW TO PROCESS THEIR ANGER, SO MAYBE ILL JUST TRYMURDER! And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. They sound so beautiful. ADAM: Chapter one! Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. Its the perfect weapon to help you vanquish your ghost. having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. ADAM: Kill?!??!? THREE TIMES IN A ROW, IT MUST BE SPOKEN UNBROKEN. But, its worth it. OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. I just can't deal with Delia. Now heres the problem. Also, one of your wine glasses is poison! LYDIA: Dad! So mean. BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! ~ You had met Lydia Deetz online on social media, and found out that she was moving into your town. But it seems that Teeter is not content with just wowing audiences on stage. LYDIA: Beetlejuice, dont you get it? LYDIA: Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal, I summon thee with Saturns breath. Do you think you would mind leaving and never coming back? If requested, here are a few audition monologues for Beetlejuice: "MacKenzie #1" in Audition Arsenal for Men in Their 20s . It says, Im warm, Im friendly, and I think about death only a normal amount! JUNO: You are the embarrassment. It didn't work. Give me just one more BEETLEJUICE: It's showtime! 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